TAR BIRDY

Pepper the Seagull was perched smugly on top of a hydro pole preening his feathers. He was very full of himself and feeling quite proud of his morning's work.

"Rawk! Rawk, Rawk!" he laughed aloud, head bobbing up and down and wings flapping several times. Foolish forest creatures! They were no match for him. He could outsmart them all so easily. Had he not just proven it?

At the crack of dawn while ravaging through lakeside garbage cans and picnic refuse he had hatched several ingenious and entertaining ideas for breaking the boredom.

First he flew to the apple orchard where Mr. and Mrs. Robin had nested in one of the trees. What good fortune and perfect timing! Both parents were away gathering food.

He swooped down and landed on a nearby branch. Four fuzzy little heads immediately popped up and all began to talk at once.

"Mother is that you?" chirped one of the babies.

"Father did you bring us something good?" cheeped a second baby.

"Me first! I'm starving!" shouted a third.

"No, me first! I'm the hungriest!" argued the fourth.

"Me! Me! Me! Me!" they all chirped together, heads back, mouths opened wide and reaching.

Darting his beak here beside one ear and jabbing it there beside another ear, Pepper began to tease and taunt the young and innocent, blind birds.

"How very delicious-looking you are," he said, flattering one baby.

"What a fine, fat morsel you would make for my dinner," he told another.

"You're not our mother!" exclaimed one baby in surprise.

"Go away!" ordered another.

"I'm so frightened!" cried a third.

"Please don't eat me," begged the fourth.

"Father! Mother! Help! Where are you? We need you! Come quickly! Help! Help!" they all began to cry out earnestly.

Such excitement and mayhem he could cause with just a few words spoken at the right time! What a pity he had already eaten that morning. With the nest full of panic and babies chirping feverishly Pepper knew it would not take long for the parents to return. He may even have seen their two gray shadows out of the corner of his eye as he flew off quickly towards the farm.

For a while he followed Farmer Brown and his tractor through the rich pasture picking at worms and grubs as they were unearthed. But, he soon tired of this game and went over to stir up some mischief in the nearby grain fields.

It didn't take long for his sharp eyes to find what he was looking for - thin gray tails and twitching whiskers. The Mouse family was out again gathering seeds. For several days now Mr. and Mrs. Mouse had been teaching their young how to select the best kernels, to always be on guard for danger, and to dart quickly to safety.

"Let's see if they are ready to practice what they've been preaching," thought Pepper as he prepared for a quick dive.

"Rawk! Rawk!" he screamed as he darted downwards.

"Run!" yelled Father Mouse.

"Hide!" screamed Mother Mouse.

"Help! Quick!" shrieked the baby mice.

Eyes popped. Tails gashed. Toes scratched and grain flew as mice scurried away in every direction.

"What fun! What Chaos!" laughed Pepper as he skimmed over the tops of the hay bundles and then rose skyward.

Out of the corner of his eye he caught blue-black movements by the barn. "Aha!" he exclaimed as he glided over, hopped to a stop on the window ledge, then folded in his wings. With his head slowly turning, his eyes scanned the darkness searching the shadows until he found them - high up in the rafters - the mud clay nests of the barn swallows. If he was fast, and if luck was with him, he could do it! What a chance to test his skill!

In a flash, he propelled himself upward to a nearby nest containing a half-dozen white eggs with brown spots. He quickly pushed his beak in and under. He maneuvered it around and up. Flip! One was out. Flip! A second went rolling down to the haymow. But before he could reach for a third, he was bombarded by what seemed to be a hundred or more beaks and battered by twice as many wings.

"Murderer! Killer!" they chittered and screamed as they pecked at him.

"Ouch! Ouch!" he cried as he pushed and he rammed and he flew himself free. Out, up to the left, over the barn door, then down and away he winged low to the ground. He was chased but soon left behind the steel-blue mass of angry and distraught barn swallows.

Catching his breath, he came to rest on a clump of grass behind some shrubs at the side of the river. Slowly flexing and moving various parts of his body, he checked himself for injuries. There were no open cuts, just some pain and soreness here and there. That was a close call.

For a while he watched the sun sprinkle diamonds on the water and listened to the waves lick the sand on the shore. Lulled by the rhythm and warmed by the sun, he sat down and half closed his eyes, relaxing.

Pepper didn't know if he had actually fallen asleep or if he had merely been very deep in thought. Something, though, he sensed was out of place. Something was either added to or missing from the to and fro, back and forth pattern. Something was running parallel but either above or beneath it.

Then it came to him. It was a spotted sandpiper racing in and out of the rushing waves, running and returning, seeking and finding silver treasures for her babies' dinner. She had already gathered and stacked a pile of five or six minnows not ten feet in front of him! Immobile and camouflaged behind the bushes, she hadn't even noticed him. A gray-white rock, Pepper sat watching and thinking and developing a plan.

On her next trip into the waves, Pepper lunged forward to the cache of fish. He gobbled down three, snatched two more and arched up high over the trees as the mother sandpiper raced towards him shrieking, "Stop! Thief! My babies' food! Stop!" But she was no match for the suddenness of his action or the strength of his wings.

Indeed there was not one of the forest creatures that was his equal, Pepper mused again from the top of the hydro pole. No one was as quick, witty, strong, bold, daring or outrageous as he! It certainly had been a most exciting, amusing, and fulfilling morning!

"Rawk! Rawk! Rawk!" he laughed delightedly.

Unfortunately, his laughter was soon to be interrupted, for flying in from a distance he could see a very determined blue jay.

"Meeting at the tool shed! Meeting at the tool shed! Calling all creatures! Meeting at the tool shed!" screamed the blue jay as it winged past Pepper.

"Now what!" thought Pepper. "What could possibly be so important that it should disturb the reverie and pleasure of an afternoon nap?" But then again, he mused; maybe this meeting could be another source of fun. Who knows what kind of mischief and entertainment it could lead to. So, with a few last strokes of his beak, he finished preening himself and flew off again towards the farm.

As he circled the buildings he noticed the farmer had finished plowing the pasture and had begun to tar some spots on the roof of the tool shed. Farmer Brown must be inside eating a quick lunch thought Pepper when he saw the ladder, the brush, and the pail full of tar still sitting beside the tool shed door.

"I'll perch here," Pepper said to himself as he glided down and came to rest on the top rung of the ladder. He glanced around and saw a wide variety of forest creatures both inside and outside the tool shed. There were birds and animals of all colors, sizes and noises.

The robins had taken their places on the branches of the choke cherry trees at the end of the shed. Barn swallows were chattering and chittering as they rested on the rafters inside. Old Tom, the barn cat, was curled up in a sunspot to the left of the door. Although he appeared to be thoroughly involved in licking his paws and wiping his face, he was more than aware of every single movement going on around him. Mrs. Sandpiper was pacing nervously back and forth in front of the tractor. The mice were peering out from a hole in the wall beside the combine.

Squirrel parents were noisily scolding squirrel children as they raced and cavorted around on the tool shed floor playing tag and turning somersaults. "Pamela, Sylvester, come back here and settle down!" called a father to his youngsters as they leapt from floor to post, ran along a ledge, then obediently returned to their family.

"This meeting is now called to order!" screamed the blue jay.

Birds and animals both large and small became still and quiet as Wise Old Owl opened his big yellow eyes and fluffed out his feathers.

"Ahhh-hem," he said, clearing his throat. "Thank you for coming so quickly friends," he continued. "We are here to discuss some very important and disturbing news. It involves such crimes as disturbing the peace, making threats, creating panic, and also theft and murder. Someone has gone too far this time!"

The entire tool shed erupted in a cacophony of disbelief and shock. "What? Who? When? Where?" animals and birds questioned as they turned to confront one another.

"Quiet! Quiet!!!" screamed the blue jay trying to settle the group and refocus it's attention.

Pepper became increasingly agitated and nervous as the robins, the mice, the barn swallows, and Mrs. Sandpiper were called forth to explain what had happened. He even thought once or twice about flying away but realized that that was not a good idea because there was no place to go. They would eventually find him wherever he went. Things always catch up with you. Besides, he rationalized; he really didn't think he had done anything all that bad.

By the time it was his turn, Pepper had thoroughly convinced himself he was innocent. He stood up straight and proud, puffed out his chest and declared that he'd done nothing wrong that morning.

"Life is boring sometimes," he said, "and you have to make your own fun and excitement." He looked at Owl. "Besides," he added, "each of these foolish forest creatures deserves the consequences of the lessons they've been taught. The robins and barn swallows shouldn't leave their nests alone and unguarded. It's neglect on their part. They're just inviting trouble. And the mice need someone like me to make their practice sessions more daring and real for their babies. And Mrs. Sandpiper shouldn't leave her food lying around like that. It's a temptation for anyone passing by."

Pepper was interrupted as birds and animals began to argue among themselves.

"Foolish forest creatures!" he shouted. "You deserved what you got! Rawk! Rawk! Rawk!" he began to laugh, his head bobbing up and down.

Unfortunately for Pepper he became too involved in his own pleasure. As he was bobbing up and down, his foot slipped on the metal surface of the ladder. He lost his balance and went spinning wingtip over toenail into the tar pail.

Farmer Brown heard the commotion that followed and came running out of his house. By the time he got to the tool shed all of the forest creatures had disappeared - all except one very distraught bird flopping around in the tar pail. From his beak to his tail feathers Pepper was now shiny black. Even his voice had changed. Instead of raucous laughter, now there were only hoarse squawks.

"What strange thing has happened here?" questioned Farmer Brown as he put on an old pair of garden gloves. He reached down and carefully picked the bird out of the pail. He held it gently and began to wipe off the tar. It was drying quickly and left hard streaks on the outside feathers of the bird's body. As he cleaned Pepper's toes, he pulled patches of skin off the webbing between them. It was a very sad and sorry-looking bird that Farmer Brown placed on the ground amidst the forest trees later that afternoon.

The forest creatures believe that somehow Pepper received his just desserts that day. It was a fair punishment for his behavior. They still tell the story of "Tar Birdy" to their children and discuss what happens when things are taken too far.